wake up and drink
Today was one of the top two weirdest days of my life. The weirdest was getting off a plane in fucking New Delhi.
6:33am: Wake up. I set my alarm for weird times
6:42am: Wake up again.
6:54am: Yellow car in my driveway, I go in it. I'm not really with it yet.
7:12am: Arrive at somebody's house. Begin drinking. PS, I am wearing plaid Ralph Lauren pants and fucking... oh, I don't even know, I have such a headache.
9:40am: Usually at this time I have class, and not a quart of gin in me. We leave the house and I fall down immediately.
10:15am: Arrive somewhere. I have no idea at this point. People are going to work. It isn't nice to piss on the street.
10:25am: Switching to second hand account because I don't remember this. We go to the Dean's office, as he taught us at one point and we are there to harrass him, because this is our day, dammit! I fall down and pass out outside his office. Apparently I am truly swell when drunk and require several people to carry me (because I'm heavier than I look, thanks).
Noon or something: I am carried approx 2.5km to someone's house.
4:12pm: Wake up somewhere. My slippers are gone. Someone found them on the road later. Oh yeah, I was wearing slippers the whole time, because I am a 'tard.
4:22pm: I get driven to my parents' house, thanks. "ISMY SUIOTE IORONED INEED TO GO TO A AFUCKING SEREMONY". The ceremony's at 5. I fall down in the shower.
5:07pm: I'm there. Thanks, Rick. Rick leaves. Oh yeah, for the ceremony I need the envelope they gave me last week and that's definitely at the house.
5:11pm: I call collect: "INEED MY NOTHEOBOK THE ENVELOPES IN IT' My mother is like what the fuck. I call again because I forgot what I had said. She was about to deliver my laptop, so that's good. I am wearing a suit and look smashing.
5:30pm: I've missed the boring part of the ceremony. The next part is the creepy part. I am in an auditorium with random chains strewn everywhere and everyone standing in the isles. The speaker is drawing on a rich variety of sources for this presentation - the bible, Jon Stewart, some poet &c. - he is also periodically striking an anvil with a hammer. I am wondering if I am doing a good job of standing up. I can't discuss the next part, because it's sacred.
6:35pm: I emerge from the auditorium an engineer.
Here's a song: Piano Magic - For Engineers A. It's kind of weird, but isn't anything?

6:33am: Wake up. I set my alarm for weird times
6:42am: Wake up again.
6:54am: Yellow car in my driveway, I go in it. I'm not really with it yet.
7:12am: Arrive at somebody's house. Begin drinking. PS, I am wearing plaid Ralph Lauren pants and fucking... oh, I don't even know, I have such a headache.
9:40am: Usually at this time I have class, and not a quart of gin in me. We leave the house and I fall down immediately.
10:15am: Arrive somewhere. I have no idea at this point. People are going to work. It isn't nice to piss on the street.
10:25am: Switching to second hand account because I don't remember this. We go to the Dean's office, as he taught us at one point and we are there to harrass him, because this is our day, dammit! I fall down and pass out outside his office. Apparently I am truly swell when drunk and require several people to carry me (because I'm heavier than I look, thanks).
Noon or something: I am carried approx 2.5km to someone's house.
4:12pm: Wake up somewhere. My slippers are gone. Someone found them on the road later. Oh yeah, I was wearing slippers the whole time, because I am a 'tard.
4:22pm: I get driven to my parents' house, thanks. "ISMY SUIOTE IORONED INEED TO GO TO A AFUCKING SEREMONY". The ceremony's at 5. I fall down in the shower.
5:07pm: I'm there. Thanks, Rick. Rick leaves. Oh yeah, for the ceremony I need the envelope they gave me last week and that's definitely at the house.
5:11pm: I call collect: "INEED MY NOTHEOBOK THE ENVELOPES IN IT' My mother is like what the fuck. I call again because I forgot what I had said. She was about to deliver my laptop, so that's good. I am wearing a suit and look smashing.
5:30pm: I've missed the boring part of the ceremony. The next part is the creepy part. I am in an auditorium with random chains strewn everywhere and everyone standing in the isles. The speaker is drawing on a rich variety of sources for this presentation - the bible, Jon Stewart, some poet &c. - he is also periodically striking an anvil with a hammer. I am wondering if I am doing a good job of standing up. I can't discuss the next part, because it's sacred.
6:35pm: I emerge from the auditorium an engineer.
Here's a song: Piano Magic - For Engineers A. It's kind of weird, but isn't anything?

posted by stan at 10:52 PM
10 Comments:
Stan! That's great! Man i was like what is stan doing!? He's turned all sketch bag. But then you redeemed yourself at the end of the story. Congratulation man. I hope to have a drink with you soon.-jeff
AS SOON AS YOU LOSE THE DANCE MIX CONTEST!! (thanks, though)
haha. I will loose too. I talk too much shit.
Don't worry, all my mp3s are 128kbps.
i lovde to you. so frishnal. drunk...
to lean on...good enough to lean on...razor blade...drunk.-jeff
i don't remember writting that...
I don't remember spilling a drink on the Dean's desk and then getting kicked out by the police. Go figure.
hahahaha.-jeff
this might sound a little psycho but i did not write that, "hahahaha".
That wasn't me. This might not sound convincing giving my momery concerning previous posts but i swear that i did not post that comment.
I don't think you remember seeing me..... but you tried to grab my nipples. It was a little scary.
But very funny later.. :P
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