How do you get into a show that went from zero-to-sold-out in a day?
Step 1: Pretend to be on the guest list. Line up and observe: level of security, type of stamp, likelihood that the thrice-removed friend of your friend who knows the promoters will come through. If low, proceed to step 2.
Step 2: Buy a Sharpie
Step 3: Go into a side street with your friends and practice drawing stamps. Try different techniques. Pressure printing seldom works, as does pointillism. Try both, just to be safe.
Step 4: Practice on someone who's wearing a watch or a wristband in case you make a mess when you try to rub it to make it look faded.
Step 5: Weakness in numbers. Probability of getting in is inversely proportional to number of candidates... obviously. Send your hottest friend ahead and wait for a phone call.
Step 6: Your brave friend was on the guest list, but it's still nice to get in for free. Strategy is key: there are two levels of security - door bouncers and ticket people. Getting past level 1 requires creativity, but the haggardly drawn-on stamps should take care of level 2, we're hoping.
Step 7: Now it's time to work your connections. Fix your hair, zip up your fly, and look like you really love dancing, so that your friend's thrice-removed promoter friend has pity on you.
Step 8: You're past the bouncers. You are so grateful; if you ever see this promoter person again you're buying her an
imported beer.
Step 9: Split up so as to not make the fake stamp scheme obvious. Smoke, fire dirty stares at those still waiting in line, or call someone: "Hey, where are you? I'm inside Tiga... yeah I know it's sold out, fuckface" Don't say that, though - jinx.
Step 10: Time to confront the ticket people. Books not to read prior to attempting such a feat: The Cheating Culture by David Callahan. Things not to think about: how Nick's 17th iteration of drawing the stamp on your wrist is really fucking tappy and looks absolutely nothing like the real thing. Also, all your friends are already in, and if you don't get in, you will be banned from the club. Essentially, don't lose your balls.
Step 11: Lose your balls and pay the guest-list price (oh well).
The show itself was worth both the mental/moral anguish and the money. Tiga DJ'd, which I think is better than just hearing the Sexor album played through a sampler. He must cut his own vinyl because there were some nutzoid remixes that would be hard to pull off live. The remix of Tomas Andersson - 'Washing Up' was played twice (no mp3/don't feel like ripping it from the 12"), and MSTRKRFT snaked big time by playing Move My Body before Tiga got on. The club stayed packed till 4am, pretty abnormal for Toronto. Then of course the after-party.
Video:
Tiga - You Gonna Want MeUpdate:
I wasn't sure what song to post along with this, the hits from Sexor have been blogged to death (I guess I contributed above). This is outstanding:
Tiga - Good As Gold/Flexible Skulls